Is there a single truesecret of happiness? Maybe. There are a number of important factors inyour happiness – your happiness with life, and your happiness withyourself. Today I’ll share some of the most important choices you can make tolive a happier – or less happy – life.
Are you often less thanfully happy with your life? or with yourself? Do you wonder what itwould take to become happier? Learn how to be happy with yourself bymastering the secret of happiness.
Everyone wants to knowhow to be happy, right? So how come happiness is so elusive to so manypeople? It really all boils down to one thing. Yes, really, just onething: You have to consciously decide to make being happy your numberone priority.
In every moment in your life you have the choice to make it a happy one or not. Most people spend more time picking out anoutfit or making dinner than they do on their own happiness. When youget your priorities right your whole life will change and you willautomatically make different choices.
Here are some questions about happiness I’ve had in my life, and I’m sure you have too:
- What is happiness?
- Can money buy happiness?
- And, a little more obscurely, what is the art of happiness?
Interestingly, I now believe that knowing how to be happy has nothing to do with knowing what the answers to these questions are.
So, finding happiness? Well, happiness really is an attitude – so adopt the attitude. Here are some key points you should know:
- Choose to be with happy positive people instead of those who bring you down
- Choose appreciation instead of complaining
- Choose letting go instead of always having to be right or in control
- Choose fun and adventure instead of the same old routine
- Choose your happiness over EVERYTHING
You have the opportunity to be happy in every moment – make the decision to be happy right now and watch what happens!
Happiness comes fromknowing what makes you happy in the first place, and making it so, butit also comes from understanding that happiness really is a choice to be made no matter what. (Fact is, some people feel ‘happy’ beingmiserable, they really do!) Self-awareness, and awareness ofself-sabotaging behaviors is very important here.
“The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants
suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude,
rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is
correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.”
— The Dalai Lama
Decide to be a happy person
Everything in life starts with a decision. A decision can make or break a person.When it comes to being a happy person, you need to decide that you wantto stay happy. You need to be stubborn with this decision, and make sure that your problems do not affect you badly. There will be manyinstances in our day to day routine, which can erupt sadness in ourlife. You need to consider these issues a part and parcel of your life,and face them in the best possible manner without compromising onhappiness.
Holding on to resentments, anger, and hatred only hurts yourself – and robsyour life of its joy and happiness. For your own sake – for the sake ofyour happiness – forgive everyone for everything that they have everdone – or failed to do – that caused you pain or upset.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
– Paul Boese
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
– The Buddha
It is sometimes very hard to forgive, but total unconditional forgiveness is one of the great keys to your own happiness.
Laugh your heart out
Laughter is truly the best remedy available out there to be a happy person. Take some time for yourself and read some joke books. If you don’t likereading, then watch some funny television shows. This will certainlylight up your spirits, and it’s a great way to unwind for the day.
Have Gratitude for All of Life
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. Life is neither perfectly great nor perfectly awful – life just is. We canchoose to complain about life’s seeming imperfections – from the longline in the bank, to the slow commute, the driver that cut us off, thepain in our knee, the overdue bills, our bossy boss. That is certainlyone way to live – it’s not wrong to live that way, but there is no joyin living with that attitude toward life.
We also have the choice of celebrating life – all of life. We can be profoundly grateful foreverything we have. However little we have, it is so much more thannothing. Our very existence is a daily miracle which deserves constantgratitude.
Make the choice to be constantly grateful for all oflife, not because you are supposed to be grateful, but because you willlive a much happier life if you have a grateful attitude.
Stress can be the nemesis of happiness. And we all know how stressful being a single mom can be. So make sure you take time out to take some deep breathes, meditate or listen to relaxing music. You don’t need to carve out an hour of time (although that would be great). You can do diaphragmatic breathing in the car while taking your children to soccer practice or even while you are in the bathroom.
It’simportant for an individual to have certain qualities within themselves, in order to lead a happy life. More than often we take things forgranted, and do not find it worthy to acknowledge or appreciate thepeople who have acted like a support system throughout our lives. If you appreciate their support, not only will it make them feel better, butyou will also admire the fact that you took such a decision.
Have a Purpose
“Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.”
– Joseph Campbell
Your life doesn’t have a purpose until you choose your life purpose. So make that choice, and choose well. There is a very high correlation betweenlives of high purpose and joyful lives. There is also a high correlation between lives without purpose and unhappy lives. Create purpose in your life not as a moral dictum, but as a key element of a happy life.
“What’s done is done.”
– William Shakespeare
Why throw away your happiness on regret, guilt, or shame? Change the rules. Where did you get the idea that regret, guilt, or shame was a good ornoble thing? Did your parents tell you that you were guilty and shouldbe ashamed? Well, shame on them. How about your church? Wherever you got the idea that regret was a good thing, change the rules now.
Regret is an appalling waste of energy,
you can’t build on it –
it’s only good for wallowing in.
– Katherine Mansfield
Always do your best – your very best – every time. But after it is over, letit be done – whatever the outcome. Learn lessons from your failures, but never label yourself as a failure. Forgive yourself for everything you have ever done – or failed to do – that didn’t work out the way youintended.
“Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.”
— Dale Carnegie
Honor Yourself – Love Yourself as You Are
To thine own self be true.
– William Shakespeare
Honor, self respect, and self love are crucial to your happiness. Don’tconfuse these essential attributes with pride – in the biblical sense of pride. You have to respect and love yourself in order to stand anychance for a happy life. You are perfect exactly as you are – whateveranyone else may say about you. If you sometimes choose to make changesin how you live, great. But you never have to change anything in orderto be a perfect person – a perfect creation.
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we’d have a pretty good time.”
— Edith Wharton
All of us want to stay happy. Happiness presents us with a wonderful feeling that everything is absolutely fine in our lives. However, the underlying fact is that there is not a single person in this world who is immune to problems of any sort. Having said that, some individuals know how to stay happy even in adverse conditions, which is why they are able to live life to the fullest. Above you read some tips which you can incorporate in your life to be a happier person.