The Difficulties That Test Relationships, According To Couples Therapists

Have you not had a conflict in your relationship? If the answer is no, congratulations. We present you with signs that ignite the alert to k...

Have you not had a conflict in your relationship? If the answer is no, congratulations. We present you with signs that ignite the alert to keep away any disturbing elements.

An idyll may falter or end up with aggravating factors. No one is exempt from going through the storm that generates a crisis, a problem or a conflict. Be able to differentiate them to react in time and to calm the gale. Here is our contribution so that you and your partner are happy.

The Difficulties That Test Relationships, According To Couples Therapists
Angelo comes home in a bad mood. Spend the day ruminating in his mind that today his wife, Lucy, forgot to have his blue striped shirt ready and yesterday did not respond to his caresses when he wanted to make love to her. Today he does not kiss her when he arrives; Greets her with an "affection, I came back, " and she responds with a monosyllable.

Lucy is angry. Angelo does not want to leave the house, does not take her to the movies or to dine at the Italian restaurant she enjoys so much.

The dinner goes on in silence. Both avoid looking at each other because in their minds there is a burning war. Each one imagines himself demanding attention by shouting, but out loud no one says anything.

In bed, they turn their backs and the next day they do not speak. They think about the possibility of a divorce.

Help!

Have you not had a conflict in your relationship? If the answer is no, congratulations. We present signs that ignite the alert to remove any disturbing element of his idyll.

Talking about it, listening to people's revelations about coexistence, difficulties, advantages and disadvantages seems to be a common factor in our daily lives.

There are hundreds of tips, reviews, writings, forums, books, audiovisual programs of expert therapists and self-help on this topic, which seek to avoid complaints, doubts, resentments, disappointments, expectations, fatigue, tears, anger, jealousy, despair.Final couples should regain balance, happiness, trust, love, passion, 

In short, there are only two alternatives: to steer the relationship ... or to dissolve it, definitely.

Clearing points

It is not the same to speak of conflicts, crises, and problems because each situation is different.

We refer to a crisis in case of a conjuncture situation of changes that pose instability, is temporary and when the adjustment generates evolution.

We speak of a problem in a situation that occurs between two or more people when there are different positions or ideas and emotions are left out.

While in the conflict the parties involved have not been able to resolve their differences. Emotions are in full bloom and turbulence affects communication.

The crisis of couple is a transitory situation that is modified. If these episodes are frequently repeated, the alarm goes off

A couple problem is a more possible state and those involved know the cause that produces it.

A combination of recurrent crises and constant problems is the root of a conflict.

Alarm Factors

Several causes trigger a conflict in our interaction with "our rib" and depending on the magnitude and characteristics of the same, which leave traces in the relationships of the couple.

The triggers of a conflict are:

  • Instability or financial hardship
  • Time of dedication to the couple
  • Paternity and/or maternity
  • Differences in character, temperament, interests and motivations
  • Communication and interrelation problems
  • Trust and tolerance
  • Passion, intimacy, and sexuality
  • The power
  • Infidelity and jealousy
  • The job

Sometimes we do not see the conflict because we blind ourselves to focus and magnify the mistakes, defects, and behaviors of the other that we think contrary.

Or we blame the situation that destabilizes us, resisting to assume that we have a share of responsibility.

Other times, ideas and fantasies in relationships drive us away from reality, creating expectations that trigger frustration, fear, and anger.

We also fill our heads when comparing our love relationship with that of friends, family, and acquaintances. What we see in movies and read in novels and books have some influence on our belief system, which dampen our love relationship.

We fall in love with the other as it is, but we want to mold it and modify it in our image and likeness.
Stop! Think: each individual is a product of different intrafamilial customs, so behaviors, temperaments, habits, and personality are diverse.
Pretending the other to change generates power conflicts, manipulation tendencies, and difficulties.

Not everything is lost…

Discuss responsibility in parenting and roles among parents; Their commitment, accompaniment, and solidarity for the activities together. In addition to economic factors and their fluctuations, as well as who carries the burden in this regard; The time of dedication to the couple, as well as communication, agreements, negotiation, sexuality, and intimacy.

Remember that jealousy, insecurity, and infidelity are factors that lead to the abyss of conflict.

The possibility of solving these obstacles is part of the coexistence, maturity, negotiation, balance and stability between two people with different beliefs, behaviors, and customs.

Those involved in these situations have the power to reduce or resolve these conflicts. Consider couple therapy, directed by a specialist, as a good alternative to ventilate the problem, crisis or conflict.

The psychologist Belski Yanez reports that infidelity and jealousy are the most frequent reason for consultation in this type of therapy. Women complain about their partner's inattention and outings with friends and family, while men report low sexual activity.

Both parties agree that the relationship between the household's intrusion on their relationships and the tenure, upbringing, and behavior of the children, as well as attention, discrimination and protection, economic difficulties and lack of initiative to solve them, As well as the lack of male support in housework.

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