The Key To Being Happy? Stop Looking For Happiness11:25 AM
Happiness is something fleeting and special, not forever. And that’s okay. There’s a scientific reason you can’t be happy all the time. It’...
Happiness is something fleeting and special, not forever. And that’s okay.
There’s a scientific reason you can’t be happy all the time. It’s called hedonic adaptation, which means that you adapt, or get used to the things that make you happy. This is one of human nature’s more irritating oddities.
"I think happiness is something that motivates you to look outwards and see the world in a more rosy way, to reach out to others and to connect with people.Is happiness something that you can't control and does it just happen to you? Can you steer happiness your own way and shape your life? What is the difference between happiness and pleasure? And should we even strive for happiness, if we want to be truly happy?
-- Robert Biswas-Diener, psychologist
Everyone tend to find happiness in very personal ways. When someone from an individualistic culture really can express themselves and be unique and creative and make their mark, that tends to bring about happiness. But for a collectivist, the ability to work for the group, to share credit with others, and to act in a way that preserves harmony is really where they receive more happiness dividends.
Whether happiness if achieved as a result of an individual or collective goal, it can be harnessed for positive social change. Happier people are more likely to volunteer for charity, donate money and help their colleagues at work.
Having money seems in general to be better than not having money, especially if you hail from a country that is a rich country.According to the psychologist, money is helpful in the sense that even the poorest citizens of rich countries benefit from systems like good infrastructure, education and healthcare. Moreover, people who do have money are able to spend it on things that they genuinely value, such as recreation, self-development, education and holidays, which in turn boost their wellbeing.
But prizing money too heavily, just amassing money for money's sake, that appears to be very toxic to happiness. High materialists are actually lower in happiness.
You need to practice positivity every day. Every time you strike a negative thought, or situation, stop and give yourself a positive thought, or think about the situation in a positive light.
Find three positives every dayAt the end of every single day, get out your pen and paper, or computer, and jot down three things that you are genuinely thankful for.
Do this for two months, you will be surprised at what a big difference this makes.
When something positive happens recognize itWhenever something positive happens, stop and take 30 seconds to really think about it and soak it in. What happened? How did it make you feel? Notice any physical sensations, like is there a particular smell in the room? What is the temperature? Take a mental snapshot of the moment.
Tell someone they’re awesomeEvery day, pick someone to compliment. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, it could just be an email to a colleague who you think is doing a great job, or a hug and a compliment for your child. You may want to thank people for things they’ve done for you in the past.
MeditationScience is backing up the impressive claims of meditation. According to Dr Hanson, meditation not only thickens areas of the brain and makes people more resilient, but it can also help to stop brain thinning which is a part of the ageing process.
Some people want to be happy quickly, so they take short cuts and get temporary happiness, but borrowed joy comes and goes. The happiness that we seem to be getting by our daily efforts is fleeting and mixed with a lot of troubles, worries, and unhappiness. Happiness cannot come without unhappiness before and after.
It’s better to say, “I am happy,” than, “I want to be happy.” The minute you say, “I want to be happy,” that very want disturbs the mind. And suppose the want is fulfilled? How many people go crazy over a small piece of paper, a stamp printed some one hundred years ago? They pay thousands of dollars to get that piece of paper. They give value to it and struggle to obtain it. If you are caught up in this, you’ll say, “I can’t be happy without the stamp.” So you pay the price. Then you say, “Ah, I got it.” It’s simple enough. First you said, “I want it.” After all the effort you say, “I got it.” Where are you now? The same place you were before you wanted it. Happy.
When we finally tire of searching for happiness outside, we sit quietly and analyze and realize that true and lasting happiness can never come from outside. It can’t come because it simply is. You are Happiness personified. You are that Supreme Bliss. You are that Joy. You are the image of happiness.