11 Rules for Being Alone and Being Perfectly Happy7:43 AM
What is happiness ? Is it possible to be alone and happy? Understanding how to be happy alone is useful for many reasons, and can help you g...
What is happiness? Is it possible to be alone and happy? Understanding how to be happy alone is useful for many reasons, and can help you grow as a person. There are few arts to being happy alone in any age. It has to be learned; it has to be practiced daily and dutifully tended to. We all have different
explanations and definitions of what happiness is and what it means to
each of us. No matter what challenges, crossroads, and lifestyle changes
you come across in your life, at the end of the day, your happiness is
what truly matters most.
But I promise it can be done. Really. Being unmarried, single, childless, yet satisfied and fabulous—it’s possible, I swear.
Whether you’re in a relationship, have children, have a busy work life or whatever the circumstances are, it’s important to know how to be happy alone. When you know what makes you truly happy, practice self-love, take care of yourself and take necessary steps to see how powerful being happy alone can be.
Figure Out What Makes You Truly HappyIf you have recently gotten out of a relationship, or are simply not currently interested in anyone, then try not to look at this stage in your life as a negative thing. Being single gives you a wonderful opportunity to figure out what truly makes you happy and gives you the perfect chance to get to know yourself better.
Being single grants you the time and freedom to do whatever you want on your own schedule and allows you to put your needs, desires, and ambitions above all others.
Not being in a relationship will help you realize and understand that your happiness does not have to depend on someone else’s presence. You need to be able to be happy alone first, and love yourself in order to give your love to someone else and have a successful relationship.
If you don’t know what is going to make you happy, how can you expect someone else to? You need to know and experience what real love and happiness is like by yourself before you commit to loving someone else.
It might be scary at first but here are some ideas that can help you to feel more positive about being alone.
Understand Loneliness and Shyness
Loneliness and shyness can cause many easily misunderstand and misinterpreted feelings. Understanding the right meanings of loneliness and shyness is the key to overcoming them.
Loneliness, for instance, is nothing more than a signal your body generates when you’re not experiencing any social connection. It signals to you that the need for social connection is as important as eating or drinking.
If you misunderstand the state of loneliness, you could get stuck in it for no reason whatsoever, especially when you have no friends and don’t know how to deal with it.
Shyness, on the other hand, is the fear of social criticism. Let me say that again: It’s the fear of social criticism. In other words, shyness is just the fear of something that might happen, but probably won’t.
How to be happy alone… what to doRecognizing that being in a relationship can’t make you happy will eliminate some of your feelings of shame and lack about being single, but there will still be a lot of other thoughts that make you unhappy in life. Therefore, to truly answer the question “How to be happy alone?”, the answer is: The same way to make yourself happy when in a relationship… Lose the thoughts that make you unhappy.
How do you do that? First, you have to identify the thoughts that make you unhappy. Once you do that, all you have to do is discover that these thoughts aren’t true. When you stop believing a thought, that thought will stop creating an emotion.
If you’re in a relationship, and you still believe all the thoughts that give you anxiety, worry, insecurity, judgment, resentment, arguments all that, you’re going to be unhappy. Therefore, in a relationship, you need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. The same goes for when you’re single. You need to examine the thoughts that make you unhappy. Just as you recognized in this blog post that the belief “A relationship is the key to happiness” isn’t true, you can do that with every thought that creates suffering.
Get to know yourself by spending some time alone in solitude.Do something that will help you relax and focus on your mind, body and soul. Go shopping, take a bath, listen to some new music, have a glass of wine, watch a marathon of your favorite show and don’t feel guilty about treating yourself or making yourself a top priority.
Understand you’re good enough all by yourselfYou’re a valuable person, and you don’t need the approval of anyone else for that to be true. When you’re alone, remind yourself that it’s because you choose to be. It really is a choice.
It’s very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you’re telling yourself that you’re better off by yourself than with someone who isn’t a great fit for you.
Learn to Appreciate the Present
We are who we become because of our life experiences from the past. Forgive yourself and acknowledge your mistakes from the past. Remember that the past does not always dictate your future. We all make mistakes and your mistakes do not define whom you are or whom you could be. Learn from mistakes, but celebrate the small wins of the present.
Think of the person that you were 5, 10, or 25 years ago. There will be many challenges, situations and obstacles that will come and go our way during our lives. If you had never made any mistakes or harbored any flaws, what type of person would you be now? What types of experiences would you have had and how happy would you really be if you were striving to be perfect for your whole life?
Life can be busy and hectic enough, sometimes just having the time to sit back and enjoy a nice cup of green tea could be something that can refresh and revive you. Don’t think of the things you do not have but live in the “now” and appreciate the small things in life that help you relax and enjoy what you have in life to it’s fullest.
Learn to relax
The single most important key to survive loneliness is to be at ease with your situation. Remind yourself that your loneliness is only temporary and will definitely not last for the rest of your life. You might be confronted with times of solitude to gain a deeper understanding about yourself and your life, or to simply learn an important lesson. For whatever reason you’re confronted with loneliness, try to take it as it is. See it for the great opportunity that it provides you. Don’t let it go unused. Use the time to grow as a person. Don’t allow it to defeat you, become stronger through it.
Find Beauty in the OrdinaryIf you don’t see beauty in your world, you’re not looking hard enough. If you’re home alone and feeling down, walk outside and spend some time with nature. Watch the birds fly and admire their elaborate flight formation. Listen to dogs barking at each other in the neighborhood and think to yourself, “I wonder what they could possibly be talking about?” Look at that big, old tree that is the size of a giant (and if you’re feeling limber, why not try to climb it?). Plant some flowers, a vegetable garden, or a small tree in your back yard. Go to the park, walk on a nature trail, clear your thoughts, listen to the sounds of the forest, and be in awe of the beauty that’s right in front of you.
Close your eyes in a dark room and appreciate the silenceThe world is a busy place and, unless you take a moment to step away from it once in a while, it’s easy to forget how nice it is to simply sit alone and enjoy your own company.
Take a moment and sit quietly in a dark room. Listen to everything that is not happening around you. You can learn a lot about yourself in the moments when you’re least occupied—the times when there is nothing to distract you from the thoughts and feelings you deny yourself during your busy days.
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Create Something of Value
The best way to feel happy alone is to spend your time creating something that brings you joy. You could write a novel or self-help book and self-publish it on Amazon, start a blog about a topic that fascinates you, go the the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall, or learn a new language, like German or Spanish. Sometimes it is hard to motivate ourselves to get to work creating at home, so if you’re feeling a lack of inspiration, pack up your notebook and laptop for a field-trip to a park, coffee shop, or downtown bench. A simple change of scenery can do wonders for your productivity.
Volunteer your timeIf you’re a hermit when you’re alone, find others that you can be alone around. A great way to do this—and to contribute something positive to the world—is to volunteer your time to a cause you believe in.
Being alone and happy doesn’t mean sequestering yourself from the world. It means being confident enough to know that you can surround yourself with people, but not depend on them for your own happiness.
And one good way to get started is to surround yourself with good people—the kind you’ll find when you give your time to a cause that’s important to you.
Fahim Ahsan is passionate about turning impossible things to possible! He helps blogger and entrepreneurs to amplify their online business. He is expert in online business, personal development, finding happiness, inspiring people in any situation. His goal is to empower people with the necessary skills to be a successful person. The best part of all this is he really can do something impossible in reality. Connect with him on Twitter to learn more.