How to be successful: Guide to Resolving Conflict Situations

L et's be honest, success is hard. Not complicated, just hard. Today, I want to rewire how you ...

Let's be honest, success is hard. Not complicated, just hard. Today, I want to rewire how you think about success and break down the barriers for good.

  • Define success for yourself.
  • Set personal, academic, and career goals.
  • Keep your expectations low but High hope
  • Understand your abilities and disabilities.
  • Play to your strengths.
  • Develop strategies to meet your goals.
  • Use technology as an empowering tool.
  • Work hard. Persevere. Be flexible.
  • Develop a support network. Look to family, friends, and teachers.

How to Define success for yourself?

How to be successful
Some define success by whether their job suits them and by how much joy they have as a result of their work. They define it by the joy they feel when they do the work; the joy they feel when they've finished the work; and by the joy that others feel as a result of their work.

If their work doesn’t add to their sense of happiness and joy of themselves and others, then no matter how much money they’ve earned or how many accolades they receive, they don’t feel successful.
This joy not only comes from their own work, but from the collaboration with other talented people who not only bring their skills to the project, but also bring harmony to the working relationship. Nobody wants to work among discord. For many, if those work relationships aren’t fulfilling and harmonious, they don’t feel good about their work, themselves, or about others.
- See more at: http://www.fairfaxcountyeda.org/five-ways-define-success#sthash.Xhw8CNHl.dpuf
If their work doesn’t add to their sense of happiness and joy of themselves and others, then no matter how much money they’ve earned or how many accolades they receive, they don’t feel successful.  This joy not only comes from their own work, but from the collaboration with other talented people who not only bring their skills to the project, but also bring harmony to the working relationship. Nobody wants to work among discord. For many, if those work relationships aren’t fulfilling and harmonious, they don’t feel good about their work, themselves, or about others.

Some define success by the sense of balance they have between their work lives and the rest of their lives. For them, work is not what success is about. They believe that life needs to be balanced, and that work is not meant to be the only thing in our lives. - See more at: http://www.fairfaxcountyeda.org/five-ways-define-success#sthash.Xhw8CNHl.dpuf
Some define success by the sense of balance they have between their work lives and the rest of their lives. For them, work is not what success is about. They believe that life needs to be balanced, and that work is not meant to be the only thing in our lives.

How to Set personal, academic, and career goals?

First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve. Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.

Why is it important to set goals?

Top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields all set goals. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation . It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.

What is the definition of personal goals?

A goal is a desired result that a person or a system envisions, plans and commits to achieve: a personal or organizational desired end-point in some sort of assumed development. Many people endeavor to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines.

What is the meaning of goal setting?

Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality. The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life.

How to Keep your expectations low but High hope

Some people use the word “hope” as a verb, in a narrow focus toward one thing, when they really mean “expect.” This can cause a lot of trouble. Saying, for example, “I really hope s/he comes around and sees my point of view on this issue” channels the “hope” in only the direction of this very important goal. If the goal is not met, the heaviness of the disappointment will depend directly on the heaviness of the “hope” – which becomes, in reality, an expectation.

Expectations are the biggest source of disappointment out there! Think about it: every time you get disappointed, it happens because your expectations of a situation were not met. Additionally, unlike hope, expectations are usually more focused around one particular thing, something that can often close your mind to other sources of good happenings.

True hope is different than expectations; it’s more open-minded, especially the more it is generalized. “I have hope that something good will come out of this” does not confine “good” to one narrow area of focus. With high hope (notice I don’t say “hopes” – the less specific, the better), you are still free to find goodness where you weren’t looking for it in the first place.

Now, we wouldn’t be who we are without expectations. Expectations are not all bad; neither is fire. Fire can be very useful. The thing about these things, both fire and expectations, is that they are most useful when they are low and under control. Too often, however, we let expectations burn out of control.

Understand your abilities and disabilities

God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings. Put these abilities to work; throw yourself into your tasks so everyone may notice your improvement and progress.
 
Have you ever been asked a question that you knew the answer to, but you couldn’t find the right word? This is called the “tip of the tongue” phenomenon and I’m sure we’ve all experienced it. You know that you know the answer, but you fail to produce it. If someone said an answer, you would know instantly if it was correct or not. In these cases meta-cognition exists without cognition.
In short, cognition is knowing, meta-cognition is knowing if you know or not. Both can exist together, but many times they don’t.

How Does this Affect Intelligence?

So what importance does this have and how is it relevant to self improvement? The fact that there are two different kinds of cognitive ability means that there are different types of intelligence.

In traditional education, intelligence is measured by cognitive ability. For some people this is works well. They can easily produce everything they know on a test. But for others it doesn’t work out so well. The people that know something cold but can’t find the right words on a test are awarded with poor grades and considered inferior.

But does this inability make them any less intelligent? They know the answer. If the question came up on a task, they could refer to a book or a quick Google search. In reality they’re just as effective as the people that aced the test. They just can’t prove it as easily.

The Importance of Knowing what you know

Unless you’re taking a test or playing Jeopardy, metacognition is more important to success than cognition. In real life, when you’re faced with a question the first decision is whether you know the answer or not. With strong metacognitive ability this is easy. If you know the answer, but can’t come up with it, you can always do a bit of research. If you know for sure that you don’t know, then you can start educating yourself. Because you’re aware of your ignorance, you don’t act with foolish confidence. The person who thinks they know something that they really don’t makes the worst decisions.
A person with poor cognitive ability, but great metacognitive ability is actually in great shape. They might do poorly in school, but when faced with a challenge they understand their abilities and take the best course of action. These people might not seem intelligent at first glance, but because they know what they know, they make better decisions and learn the most important things.

Clever but mediocre people

At the opposite end of the spectrum are people with great cognitive ability but poor metacognitive ability. These people are proclaimed geniuses at a young age for acing every test and getting great SAT scores. Unfortunately, they’ve been ruined by poor metacognition; they think they know everything but they really don’t. They are arrogant, fail to learn from mistakes, and don’t understand the nuances of personal relationships; showing disdain for persons with lower cognitive ability.

So who is superior? In a battle of wits the higher cognitive ability prevails, but life is not a single encounter. It is a series of experiments in succession, each building upon the last. Learning requires knowing what you don’t know, and taking steps to learn what you need to. People with poor metacognitive ability never realize that they don’t ‘get it’. They also don’t realize what’s important.
This doesn’t preclude them from material success. But, perhaps that’s a poor measurement of intelligence as well. There are many people who become rich and successful by their cleverness and cognitive ability, but as human beings are quite mediocre. Is the man that makes a million dollars, but is cruel and abusive to his employees and family, really more intelligent than the poor man who lives a modest and loving life? I don’t intend to demonize wealth, only to state that it should not be the measure of virtue.

Play to your strengths

Play to Your Strengths: Managing Your Internal Labor Markets for Lasting Competitive Advantage. It's much easier to play to your strengths rather than compensate for weaknesses. The more you develop your natural talents, the stronger they become. Shore up your weakness, before they make a mockery of your strengths.
Most of us don’t have weaknesses as blatant as an inability to get up with our alarm clock. Nor are we so poorly matched with our chosen professions as to take a job with a bank knowing we can’t make it to work on time. But we still have weaknesses. Every one of us has some part of our jobs that we loathe doing, or don’t do well. Each of us also has strengths.

Use technology as an empowering tool

Develop yourself. Learn to use the tools around you.
High performers are great learners. When you hear about something in your industry you need to understand, dig in. Find articles and read about it. Talk with someone who might be in that space, look for Ted talks or YouTube videos, check out SlideShare or Twitter, buy the book on Kindle. Make "continuous learning" part of your career.

Develop strategies to meet your goals

It will also stay with the overall vision, mission, and objectives of the initiative. Often, an initiative will use many different strategies--providing information, enhancing support, removing barriers, providing resources, etc.--to achieve its goals. You should have a proper Strategic Plan to meet your goal.

What is a Strategic Plan?

Strategic planning is an organization's process of defining its strategy, or direction, and making decisions on allocating its resources to pursue this strategy. It may also extend to control mechanisms for guiding the implementation of the strategy.
 
 
Of all the things you can do to be a success, the one which always wins out is "working hard." Successful people come into work a little earlier, stay a little later, and know how to put in the extra effort to do a fantastic job.
In fact, I'd agree with the statement above: "Hard Work Beats Talent." There are lots of highly educated people in the business world who aren't willing or able to push themselves hard enough to become a huge success. This is not to say you should sacrifice your family life, but when you can add more "oomph" you should.

Here is a short list you could start with:
  1. This one seems funny but it's true. Hard workers get up early. 
  2. The biggest problem we have today at work is distraction. Successful people take time to focus. Focus on what matters. Each day. 
  3. People who do their homework carefully and don't make mistakes are needed in every profession, and you will stand out as an exceptional performer. So Pay attention carefully. 
  4. Do more listening, less talking. 
  5. Sometimes things are overwhelming: people issues or business decisions seem unsolvable, customers are upset, and maybe things are broken or your project is behind. Well you just have to push ahead. Mental toughness means telling yourself that "I'll figure this out." 
  6. Final thought. Do work you enjoy. Find a company or team of people you like. Don't be afraid to take a job you love, even if it isn't the highest paying or most glamorous in your industry.

Develop a support network. Look to family, friends, and teachers.

Social disconnectedness, whether hanging out after work or sitting down at the table with friends and family for a nightly meal, has been shown to increase happiness and help alleviate depression . Unless meal time looks something like a Creepy frog on the dining , the simple act of gathering around the table helps establish connections, which studies have found are crucial in maintaining happiness and a sense of belonging . Translation: Text messages won’t cut it.

Enjoying dinner with friends or family brings a one-two punch of benefits: it accomplishes the goal of face-to-face interaction and can also lead to healthier eating choices..
Some define success by the sense of balance they have between their work lives and the rest of their lives. For them, work is not what success is about. They believe that life needs to be balanced, and that work is not meant to be the only thing in our lives. - See more at: http://www.fairfaxcountyeda.org/five-ways-define-success#sthash.Xhw8CNHl.dpuf
Some define success by the sense of balance they have between their work lives and the rest of their lives. For them, work is not what success is about. They believe that life needs to be balanced, and that work is not meant to be the only thing in our lives. - See more at: http://www.fairfaxcountyeda.org/five-ways-define-success#sthash.Xhw8CNHl.dpuf

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